And There We Go - moving west and other stories

As the pilot tipped a wing so that the Golden Gate Bridge was in full glorious view, these were the words I read - You can kiss your family and friends good-bye and put miles between you, but at the same time you carry them with you in your heart, your mind, your stomach, because you do not just live in a world but a world lives in you. - Frederick Buechner. At that moment, two and a half years ago, those words were wrenchingly comforting.

The Oceanic Bridge has become our 'gate' these past few years and I will miss not driving over it almost every day. Even when it was colder than a 'you know what', seeing the water always calmed me down. But it's time again, to be the one to go. To leave friends on their porches and buddies at the park. Would that we could slink away quietly in the night, bypassing the inevitable tears. Our time here in NJ has been more than counting days. We dove into a new life, full stop, and it's going to be hard to say goodbye. From the decadence of cabana life to the hilarity of shoveling snow (house rule #1: you may only  laugh about the weather, there is no complaining). We've had a blast here and would not have traded this experience for anything! My kids have grown more than just a shoe size or two, and I have learned that I'll never be too old to make new friends.

So off we go, Mid-Westward Ho and soon this will be our new 'gate'. The boys and I got to play tourist in Chicago last week and had so much fun! We took the train into the city a couple of times, went to a bunch of amazing museums, hung out with some of our favorite people, ate the best sushi I've had in 3 years, got an offer on our NJ house (yahoo), and most importantly, spent time as a family. If not for the fact that our Chicago house still hasn't closed escrow and we're just about homeless, it would've been perfect - but ce la vie - it is what it is!

xoxo,
P

Amazement, Inspiration, Love ... The Gelato Prince

Strap in y'all, I'm in an incredibly emotional mood today. It's my oldest son's 20th birthday and I realized this morning that this is the first year that I will not be able to hug him on his Oh Happy Day, pour him a bowl of CocoPuffs (we do the 'you get to choose one gross cereal for your birthday' thing), make the meal of his choice, and basically be especially nice to him all day. He's a man-boy now, the strings have been snipped, he's somewhere on a mountain bike in Portola Valley, CA teaching rug rats how to ride. Loving every minute of it I'm sure, and not doubt 'holy crapping' about being 20! I love my son.

Amazement: (tears) this little boy weighed 2 lbs 4 ozs when he was born. Tried as I might, with witnesses to swear, he found his wings a bit too early. But fly into this world, he did, and fight his way to stay, oh hell yes he did! There was a saying in the NICU, that my favorite Irish nurse, Gerry shared - there are fighters and there are flyers, Andrew is a flyer! Weeks passed stroking a limb, whispering stories and singing lullabies and finally, finally I got to hold my boy. You know how it is, you never really let go.

So on a day like today, when yet another milestone has been achieved, it just hurts to not be near him. I'm a sappy-ass mom at the end of the day, and I still kiss The Littles good night every night and whisper in their ears when they're sleeping. If Andrew were sleeping here tonight, I'd do the same, or at least make sure his feet-boats weren't hanging off the bed!

This man, this boy - he's a rarity, a presence, a wonder (more tears). I always thought he was an old soul, anymore I'm not sure if that's true. Hanging around with adults elevates ones skills, for sure. But there is something bigger than that. He's just kind of cool, comfy with himself. You can't teach that to someone, I think it's how he's wired. And this inspires me, because I'm not always comfy with myself. I don't love walking into a room of strangers or showing up to a gig on my own. Crap, some days I hate showing up to life on my own! Andrew always stands tall and forges forward, with a smile and a huge heart. I love that about him!

And love, oh yes, love. What's been asked of this man-boy over the last 20 years is more than you can imagine. And at the end of the day, it is my hope, that every step of the way he's felt and known that he is loved. Enough love and then some to help, to push, to hold, to celebrate and to feel safe (yes, more tears).

So, Gelato Prince (yup, literally ate his way through Italy), man-boy, miraculous human being who flew your way into this world ... I am so proud to be your mom. You remind me to appreciate life, to be thankful every day, to push beyond comfort, to listen when I don't want to, to try when it's hard, and to acknowledge achievement. Happy Birthday Big Guy!

xoxo...

Mom

Bye Bye Gluten

Almost two weeks gluten-free, I'm on a roll (that's a pun)!  It hasn't been as difficult as I thought it would be and I'm inspired to keep it positive. Thank the gods for the internet, where I've found a plethora of information and gained a respectful perspective on people living with Celiac Disease. I don't have Celiac, but I do think there is a connection between gluten-sensitivity and aging.

Kudos to Trader Joe's! Check out this awesome gluten-free list I found online. One of my favorites, even before I took the leap, is the Chicken Curry Tenders. To offset the insane sodium count, I grill, slice, toss (over heat) with coconut milk, a bunch of veggies, a little Thai basil, serve over rice and voila - a meal even my kids devour! TJ's also carries Udi's bread and man, that's good stuff. And in case you've never tried this, Bragg's Liquid Aminos is a great gluten-free alternative to soy sauce. I've been using it for years and actually prefer it to traditional soy.


Have an amazingly healthy GF day!


Paula

What the GF?

Day Two of going Gluten-Free. So what, right? If just that I'm painstakingly aware of what I'm eating, that's positive. Not to mention I ran a mile today, my skin feels better (but dangit, the wrinkles are still there) and I feel good. I'm sure it's 99% psychological, but I'll take it!

Have scoured the local stores for crunchy, salty GF goodness, yeah! Had my first sandwich on gluten-free bread, not bad, so much better toasted. A little trepidacious about the Spaghetti Bolognese I'm serving my family tomorrow, hopefully my sauce will rock and no one will notice the pasta is a little 'weird'. Sunday morning breakfast will be the real test, gluten-free pancakes! I'm worried that they'll turn out like mush cakes instead of my famous thin pancakes. Oh well, more syrup!

In the meantime, I found this awesome GF blog, gluten-free goddess. Not only does it have amazing recipes, but Karina is a fantastic writer and has such an inspiring story. Make sure you check out her bio, then click the link to her husband's art - it's simply beautiful!

Have an awesome GF day! (doesn't that totally sound like a swear word)

xoxo,
P

Don't Blink

Maybe it's because I'm getting older (not) or perhaps it's just the insane rhythm of life (likely) but I feel like every time I look up, another year has gone by. As a mom, I tend to mark time in school events and holidays. Does that make sense? Less circadian rhythm and more circuitous hamster wheel. No less productive, but certainly more myopic (can something be MORE myopic?).

Anyhow, this past year has been a transition with the big man away at college. Cho Party of Four just sounds weird and each of us has had to get used to missing Andrew. Thankfully, we Skype, we text, we chat, which is all good, but not the same. I miss my kid. I did take over his bathroom though, so there are some perks. Changes aside, he loves living in La Jolla (geez), has survived the rigors of academic life at UCSD and does his own laundry. We're very proud, and not just about the laundry thing!

Do you know those moments when you look at your kids, I mean really look at them. And for a moment, you're kind of separate and you see them as little people in the world. We had well checks at the Peds the other day. I know their projections aren't totally accurate, but No. 2 is on target for at least 6'4", talk about wingspan - skooch over Michael Phelps! Now the size 12 sans-a-belt jeans make sense, he's only 9! No. 3, on the other hand, will probably be somewhere between 6'2" and 6'4", and can I tell you, he's pissed about not being taller than his brother. Competitive little bugger! In the blink of an eye, or at least the not too distant future, my entire family will be taller than me, and I am not exactly a petite flower!

In tune with the rhythm 'and to everything there is a season, turn, turn, turn' -  it's springtime again here in NJ. Which means the flowers are gorgeous and  the Zyrtec is flying off the shelves. Smiles abound because the snow is finally gone and the spray tan has started to run a muck. The weekly thunder and lightening shows are pretty amazing thus far, as is the hair-curling humidity. Hey, it's life in Jersey, what can I say!

So on the heels of Wills and Kate's nups (see, event centric), have a lovely day just don't blink, because you won't know what you're missing!

xoxo,
Paula

California Dreamin'

Hudos (that's 'huge kudos') to my local Whole Foods for keeping their produce bins plentifully stocked with California artichokes. I love them! My mom tells a funny story about an uncle (or was it my Dad?) who when served an artichoke for the first time, asked what the 'shrub' was on his plate. And I'll never forget one of my favorite Little Rascal episodes, 'well, it may choke Arty, but it ain't gonna choke Stymie' ... hardly 10 for a dollar (HA), only in Castroville, right.

And the strawberries, Driscoll of course, are organically amazing (read carefully people)! I can't keep them in the house long enough to get my fill. All things Driscoll brings back such fond memories. I spent many Tahoe summers with 'these berries' - thank you CC and TC.

Maybe there's a Be Kind to California movement going on in Jersey, because even Sickles featured Cowgirl Creamery cheeses last week. And if you don't know what I'm talking about and you're even remotely fond of cheese, you have totally missed the boat. Quickly, get thy self to a cheese shop (or click the link above and join the Cheese Club). Trust me, I do know what I'm talking about. I didn't work at The Mouse Trap at El Paseo without learning a thing or two about cheese.

If the food isn't enough to make me wish for all things California, a quick visit to San Diego put me over the edge. I used to think that if I ever had the chance to live in San Diego it had to be within walking distance to the ocean. Now, I'd be ecstatic with one of those lovely terracotta roofed, stucco bungalows in the valley (although a pool would be nice). I still can't believe that my kid gets to live in La Jolla, row on Mission Bay, and call one of my favorite places 'home', at least for a few years. Freshman Admit Day was awesome! Now I know where Andrew will be when he says he's heading to RIMAC or that he had a burrito at Goodies. It's not that I was flipping out, it's that I'm visual and wanted to be able to 'see' where he'll be. It's good, no it's really great. He's so ready to just be there and take it all on. I'm so proud of him, and I miss him already.

Spring is here - sunshine, warmth, flowers - bugs ... oh well, it's really beautiful and makes me happy. And hey, only 61 days until summer!

xoxo,
P

Passing on, Moving on, and things like that

It's so hard to wrap my head around 'forever' ... these words my husband murmured to me during the time he spent with his father these past few weeks. He was weak and ill and failing too fast. I love my husband even more than I knew; for his courage, for his compassion, for his devotion. I wasn't there when my aboenim died. I didn't get to say goodbye. I was home with our boys, Andrew had surgery. I had to be home. It was the only place for me to be. Thomas was gone for almost 2 weeks. I talked to him several times a day, and every time it was different - sad, angry, remorseful, empty. I wanted to reach through the phone line and hold him close. What felt hard for me was the worst kind of hell for him; it was heartbreaking.

My sister, bless her, rescued me the week of Andrew's surgery. With Thomas gone, how was I going to swing that one? She arrived with a smile and a hug and love for all of us. She brought levity and happiness, amidst fear and unknowns. And then, my father-in-law passed away and I had to go. I had to. Whatever I've done to deserve my family, I am a lucky girl/sister/daughter. My parent's arrival coincided with my sister's departure; a deep sigh, knowing my boys would continue to be under great care and love. Leaving felt wrong; leaving felt right. I will never forget their unflinching 'yes' when I asked for help.

Traveling without your children is touted as a special treat; for me is was so bittersweet. I had no idea what I was stepping into in CA, but all I wanted was to hold on to my husband; hold him up if I could. For those of you who don't know him, he is a quiet man of great depth with an unflappable strength of character. It's not often that he lets his guard down, but losing his father shook him to the core. I noticed that he was wearing his father's shoes when I got there, walking in his footsteps, stepping into his life - I don't know, but it made him feel closer, more connected; somehow it helped him. When I told my Dad this, he smiled and said, "I did the same thing when my Dad died, I wore his clothes" - beautiful, I get it.

The days in CA were a blur of tears. Despite my resolve to be strong, it hit me in waves, and still does - forever is hard to wrap your head around. I will never be able to hear Amazing Grace again without crying.

Lest you think our life is all sadness, about moving on ... I am so happy to note that Andrew was accepted to UCSD and will be basking in the beauty of La Jolla while wrestling with the curriculum of Revelle this Fall. The shorts are finally off the wall and he's been wearing them with the biggest smile. We are all so very proud of him and excited for this next phase of his life. Although William thinks college is 'dumb' and why does Andrew have to go away anyhow, it only took him a few minutes to be reminded that San Diego is the home of the Aircraft Carrier Museum, the SD Zoo, SeaWorld and Legoland - he's good to go now! Andrew deserves every acknowledgement and accolade that comes his way! I am beaming right along with him. Go Tritons!

xoxo,
P

Oh No You Didn't ...

Oh my gosh, I SO did and it's going to be a long time until my youngest forgives me! This was one of those life moments when I wish I could have crawled in a hole and hid for a day or so, until the Colts had clinched their title, and the Saints were still the 'Aint's (sorry Mom and Keat) and I had regained my status as Best Mom On The Planet. So here's what happened ... William's 1st grade class had a Football Reading Super Bowl this week. Each child who read four+ extra books was invited to wear a jersey to school and participate in the Super Bowl. William achieved his goal and decided that Petrobas had gotten enough exposure and he really wanted a football jersey - and he was adamant about Manning "cause you know he's not the old man guy (Favre) mom, but he is gonna be in the real Super Bowl" - OK. Off we go to our local Modell's and pick out the perfect jersey a) for the Reading Super Bowl and b) for the real deal on Sunday. He looked so stinking cute heading off to school - jeans, turtleneck, jersey (jacket, hat, gloves, boots - it's really flippin' cold here). Alexander had a play date after school and I was really looking forward to one-on-one time with William. Home we come with his Valentine Day booty and all smiles because Friday is Wii day! No sooner are we in the house and he bursts into tears, "You bought me the wrong jersey, Peyton Manning is #18 not #10, see and it says NY right here!" (he was right, it does, see the picture). Now usually when he breaks out the crocodile tears it's a ploy to distract me from something or to get his way - but this was real. I felt so badly, he was such a sad mess. Apparently, someone at school let him know he had the wrong jersey if he thought he was 'all about the Super Bowl'. So, after big hugs and profuse apologies, I told him Mom's not really the go-to sports fanatic, and that next time anything relating to sports should probably be a Papa thing. We decided the Colts were the same color (sort of), snagged Andrew's athletic tape, turned the 0's into an 8's (easy peasy) and voile - except that I forgot the 10's on the shoulders and Papa noticed right off the bat -"William, who's jersey is that any how?" - Thanks a heap dude!

Anyhow, he seems to have forgotten for now, at least until game time tomorrow. And I'm sure the checkout girl at Modell's is still laughing - 'Hey yous guys, did ya see that mom who bought the NY Giants jerseys for her kids at $40 bucks a pop - what a maroon' - my bad!

oh yeah - Go Colts!

xoxo,
P

Punxsutawney Phil was right ... it's still winter

The Ground Hog was right and it snowed here on the same day as proof. How much more evidence do we need people! Despite the illusion that Spring's been sprung in every retail store across America (you're so right Michelle), it is still winter here in NJ and it will be for quite some time. We're bracing ourselves for another blast of cold and snow, so I intend to stock up on all things Super Bowl tomorrow as I will NOT be driving around this weekend. Oh crapit, the drycleaning isn't ready until Saturday, so I'll make one white-knuckle voyage, but that's it!

So, in spite of (yes, I meant to write that) the fact that the retail world is all perky and scantily clad in bright patterns and colors, I'm still wearing my snow boots and down parka. The only color added is my fr-rosey cheeks and an occasional scarf (for warmth not fashion). Actually, my parka is green, but that's only because I refused to be one more in a sea of black down and fur hoods. I'm from California darn it and I dare to be different (like the CA license plates aren't obvious enough). Maybe that's why I still feel spurned every so often.

A few random thoughts about television:

American Idol - yes, but a little 'yes'
Spartacus - Kirk Douglas must be so pissed, and is Lucy Lawless low on funds, geez
Heroes - weekly bonding time with Andrew
The Olympics - can not wait (more excited about that than Valentine's Day)

And about the Super Bowl - Colts baby, all the way!

xoxo,
P

Count down to college ...

If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours - HDT.

I found this quote last night while I was working on Andrew's senior dedication page for the RFH year book (the one that he'll will keep for eternity). While I was sifting through pictures, trying to find the perfect balance between 'oh how cute' and 'oh how embarassing' - it hit me again, this time next year will look so different. It's a mixed bag of jubilation and wistfulness. I am so insanely proud of this young man, once dubbed The Gelato Prince (actually that's a picture of him at B&R in downtown Los Altos), but he did eat his way through Italy one gelato cioccolato at a time. I look at him now, all 6'4" and think - really? To remember how small he was when he was born (4 lbs give or take a few ounces), to acknowledge how hard he fought to stay alive (they called him 'a flyer'), to think about the first time I got to hold him in my arms (it was weeks) - this baby, this boy, this man - he is extraordinary.

So what advice do you give a young man who's already cheated death, has a depth of heart beyond his years and an unflappable strength of character - to never find yourself as one of the 'mass of men living lives of quiet desperation' (HDT), go live, try new things, have fun, be happy. And, don't forget BDH and the Four Essential Things.

xoxo,

P

Christmas Revisited and Happy New Year

(This is my favorite picture of my mom and the boys taken at my sister's house in Pebble Beach over the holidays).

Christmas was awesome! We left 2 feet of snow and 19 degree weather behind and immersed ourselves in California. It was so comforting to see mountains, lots of CA license plates, the 'City', 280, even the Bay Bridge in bumper-to-bumper traffic was cool (seriously, it took us an hour and a half to get from SFO to Oakland after 8 hours of travel). We pigged out at some of our favorite restaurants, peeked at our house (everything looks ok), surveyed our storage unit (yes half of our belongings are still in CA), traipsed through downtown Los Altos, and then we all got a little sad. It's hard not to miss life in CA; friends, family, familiarity.

Lest you think we were hunkered in Los Altos the whole time hiding out and not calling (please don't be upset, it would have been impossible to see everyone and then the guilt, ugh) ... we were actually road warriors, from Oakland (Berkeley) to Pebble Beach to Los Altos to San Jose to Oakland to Morgan Hill to Oakland - I guess it was a good thing we left the van there after all.

It was so wonderful to spend time with our families, some of whom we hadn't seen for over a year, that's way too long. There were tears of joy and of saddness, anticipating when the next time would be. Thank you so much to those of you who let us barge into your lives, for the generosity of your time and the warmth of your friendships. To those of you we missed, we hope your year is off to a great start and we'll catch you next time! To anyone brave enough to head East, the cabana is ready Memorial Day weekend!

xoxo,
P

Fleece on Earth!

I could not resist! My sister sent this card to Andrew and it's too perfect not to share with you.

Wishing you the joys of the season, cherished time with family and friends, lots of love and laughter and of course, more Christmas music than you can possibly stand - it's your last chance people!

xoxo,
P

Through the eyes of a child

 Christmas is magical. Don't even think about trying to convince me otherwise. I love everything about it - music, wrapping, cooking, giving, etc. It reminds me of my fondest childhood memories and simply makes me happy. And watching my kids love the holidays makes it even sweeter. Truth be told, I'm not sure if both of them still 'believe', but they're faking it well if not. The other day, we received this amazing Gingerbread House as a gift from our realtor (now that's good marketing, right?) It's huge and chock full of more sweets than you can imagine, kind of puts our graham cracker and frosting shacks to shame! We ceremoniously took turns taking the first few pieces off, now it's a free for all, but I guess that's part of the fun. When I was little we had a gumdrop tree and I loved putting the gumdrops on it; one for the tree, two for me - ah, that explains why the purple ones are disappearing.

I tried something new this year - I let the kids do 95% of the ornaments! For those of you who know me well, that's huge; I'm a bit of a tree freak - you know, not too close together, create theme branches, spread out the snowmen and sock monkeys ... I figured, I got to put the lights on the way I want them, who cares if one branch has five ornaments on it. It's our most creative tree to date, but honestly, they got so much out of being the masters of their own domain, it was worth it. Besides, I'm still the wrapping-nazi!

Today was 'the littles' Holiday Concert at school. They were so excited and looked like little gentlemen in their cords and sweaters (read: looked really cute, but not all that happy about it). Lucky for us, we have really tall kids, so finding them in a see of red and green was a piece of cake. The concert was fantastic, and as always I cried (wimp). Friday night is Andrew's Holiday Concert, sure to be another great performance like last year.

Anyhow, we're swimming in the spirit and looking forward to sharing time with family and friends.

Health and happiness,

xoxo,
P

It's Treesicle Time Again

I can't believe it's December, how the heck did that happen. (I seem to be surprised a lot lately, what's up with that?) Anyhow, as evidenced by the abundance of wreaths, swags and trees everywhere I go, it's Christmas time in New Jersey. I'm singing my way through every store, smiling everytime I smell something sprucey or minty, and generally excited about the holidays. This year we're breaking out the lights and garland; really gonna swag it up! I even bought some plastic (yuck) ornaments so the kids can decorate the tree outside. This weekend we'll make our trek to Sickles and hopefully the same Norman Rockwell guy will deliver our tree in the same old blue truck; although Andrew's kind of ruined my 'fantasy' because apparently the guy's name is John. And I promise no 'treesicles' this year.

I still can't believe that we've been here a year. I guess that's the beauty of hibernation; time flies when you're holed up inside. With the turning of the leaves, and the subsequent falling, 'the piles' are everywhere. (And by the way, this picture is nothing compared to what we see here!). Remember I told you how we get to rake/blow/shove our yard waste to the curb and just leave it there for pickup (more like scrape up)? I read somewhere that New Jersey is the mulch capital of the US, not sure if that's true, but I tend to believe it is as I'm, literally, dodging leaf piles driving on River/Ridge/Rumson Roads. We had our fair share of piles this season. Funny thing is, we don't have any big trees in our yard, go figure.

As of December 1st, we're officially banned from any overnight street parking (you know, so the snow plows can make their way easily through the drifts!). Last year we were scrambling and ended up double parking in our one-car driveway (nice WT people from CA). This year, we're good to go. With our expanded driveway (yipee) 2 cars fit with room to spare, and I get the garage. The kids are so excited because they know we'll never have to scrape the windshield or sweep off the doors! I'm kind of loving that too.

Last important tidbit, Andrew was inducted into the National Honor Society last night at Rumson Fair Haven High School. Turns out, his stellar achievements followed him from CA and he got credit for his 'time' at Pinewood. Scholarship, Character, Leadership and Service. Way to go Andrew, we're all so, so proud of you.

happy day all,
P

Time flies when you're ...

Exactly one year ago today, at Sumika in Los Altos (thank you Kuniko), surrounded by a group of amazing kinder-parents, new friends and old, I was saying both Thank You and Goodbye - my how time flies. So today, here's my theme song 'Forever Young'. And thank you friends for being the 'presents' in my life.

humbly,
Paula

Wow, it's windy today

Apparently, we're having a bit of a Nor'Easter - wind like you see in movies. I guess it's all over the news. I like the sound of the wind, it's like music. As long as the trees stay upright, we're good. Thankfully, it's not too cold yet and the leaves are still so beautiful. We're in good hands, so don't worry. Being a small town, when the weather becomes an issue, the local police and fire departments activate their automated phone trees to keep people informed in the event of a Coastal Evacuation (holy crap!). There's also the local alert system, kind of like a town-wide intercom, that broadcasts in the event of an emergency (sometimes I think they play it just to mess with us). You just need to know which alerts mean what - we haven't mastered that one yet. It's especially helpful on snow days - "ding dong, ding dong - Rumson Schools are Closed' - this morning the kids asked if it was a "Wind Day" - ha, good try guys -NO, go get ready for school.

In keeping with the theme, do you remember this song - The Wind, such a beautiful song. I will never forget hearing Teaser and the Firecat for the first time. Elementary school, at Suzy Gebers house, listenting to the LP, (yes, I said LP, it was a long time ago, ok) Cat Stevens, dreamy eyes, cool voice, amazing lyrics. I still know the words to all of those songs - WHY??? I have one of those brains. Lyrics stay in my head, ask my family, it's a little scary. When I got my first record player (yep, even before 8 tracks) my favorite group was The Carpenters, (a far cry from Cat Stevens, but they were 'good clean kids'). Go ahead, ask me to sing any of their songs and chances are I'll know all the words. I used to sit in my room with my headphones on singing away. My sister would open my door and all I could see was her mouthing the words, "you can't really sing, you know" - oh well. I have no idea if I can sing, but it feels good and I know all the words! I always wonder how much more cranial capacity I'd have if I could do a lyric data dump. Man, the stuff I could remember.

Anyhow, stay warm and dry.

xoxo,

P

I Love Butter

There is nothing more comforting than a lightly toasted piece of bread smothered in butter. No question, I exceed the half-pat serving size - on just half of the bread. If I can't see it soaking in, there isn't enough. You know that saying 'everything's better with a little butter' - I say 'no, not really' but you better make sure my toast is drowning in it. I know, you're thinking I'm a huge fan of that Paula Dean, actually nope, she kind of nauseates me: A) that hair and B) that voice - gak! 

So, not that I'm a butter connoiseur or anything, but there are different 'specials' for different occasions. After taking a few cooking classes at Home Chef in Palo Alto (remember that place, it rocked!) I learned about Plugra; now that's some butta! It's a splurge, no question, but so worth it. Then, there's Kerrygold, Pure Irish Butter (whatever that means) perhaps reminiscent of a crock you'd find in a Pub in Ireland. Probably not, but it's definitely different. And then, of course, there's the last minute standby, tried and true and pretty darn good if I do say so myself - Land O Lakes - Sweet Cream Salted please.

Kudos to all of you who use the 'alternative butter-like spreads', you probably have great arteries, but even Fabio couldn't get me to believe it was or wasn't butter. And no matter how you whip it, Canola Oil does not taste like butter - geez. I say have your fat and make it real. It's the moderation part I need to work on!

As I'm writing this, I think I've uncovered my obsession with butter. When I was a kid, my mom mostly used margarine (WTF is that stuff anyhow). We only broke out the butter for holidays or really special company. So there must be something about using real butter that makes me feel special, that's kind of warped, but oh well.

So I'll leave you now to enjoy your day (oh and by the way we're hitting a high of 51 brrr!) because I've got a piece of yummy gluten-free, bazillion grain bread toasted that I need to smother!

xoxo, P

It's official ...

The leaves are turning gorgeous shades of yellow and red and there's a chill in the air. Multi-colored mums grace every walkway and front porch. Geez, I even saw winter cabbage at the garden store. Crapit - the snow is coming! Apparently, Farmer's Almanac predicts the coldest winter in 10 years. I think it's a ploy to boost retail sales at LL Bean, Lands End and Eddie Bauer; don't those guys run a Fleece Consortium? Anyhow, for whatever reason, when we arrived last year it was already cold; we just jumped right into the swing of winter gear. This year, we know what we're in store for so we're all a little wistful for California. I know, you're getting bombarded right now, but come on, at least it's not snowing! I peeked at the weather for the next 10 days, we'll be lucky to see 60 degrees. A fond (albeit begrudgingly) farewell to any chance of 70 and sunshine; we'll see you next year. Harumpf!

On to the family...Big Me (aka the hubbie) is doing great. Work has settled to a less frenetic pace, now only slightly insane instead of completely so. His awesome workouts got thwarted by the 'first of season' nasty cold (and no, not SWINE), but hopefully he'll be back in the groove before long.

Little Me (aka Alexander) is living proof that turning Eight is Great! He loves being in 3rd grade, is a total fish and can now dive off the blocks, do flip turns and it starting to 'get' Butterfly - it's so much fun to watch him. He has the ideal swimmers body; long limbs, big hands and big feet, not to mention a pure love of the water. He continues to be a Lego maniac, as evidenced by the multitude of creations that 'clutter' the play room.

Mini Me (aka William) is ... we'll he's 6 1/2 and full of piss and vinegar. It's a good thing he's cute, because there are at least 2 times per day when I'd like to launch him (not that I'd ever do that, but as Chris Rock said, "but I understand"). He's strong willed, not easily swayed by anyone, and does not respond well to threats. That being said, he's the huggiest snuggle buddy, when he chooses. He's shining in 1st grade and reading like a fiend. Karate is his favorite sport, he just earned his Junior Blue belt.

Other Me (aka Andrew) is on the tail end of college apps. We're both ever so grateful to "Judy", our college guru, for keeping everything on track. With 2 more tests to take, everything will be complete - hard to believe. Hugest news, cross your fingers here and no bad juju please, is that he's making an official recruiting visit to UCSD to hang out with the Crew Team and Coaches. He met the Coaches during his summer tour and they were duly impressed (huge moment). He sleeps with a pair of UCSD shorts above his bed, but I won't let him wear them ... yet!

As for me (no aka, just ME), I'm on my last day of antibiotics. After starting a mad workout regime to get rid of my cabana-belly, whamo - I got sick! I don't really recommend the snot diet, but it did do wonders for my waistline. Thankfully, I rallied while my parents were here (well, at least the illusion of a rally). They stayed with us in the middle of their month-long road trip (Chicago, Wisconsin, Canada, Philadelphia, New Jersey, Ohio back to Chicago - I know, not in a million years, but they love it). The kids were so happy to spend time with Grammy and Grandpapa, it was just awesome. I dragged them all around Rumson, Little Silver and Fair Haven; and of course to Sickles. William had Apple Day that my mom and I went to, Alexander got to celebrate his birthday with family (and two of Thomas' sisters were here for the day from NY) and Dad was in heaven with the big screen TV! We drove to a Regatta in Delaware, where we got to see Andrew row and have the full RFH Crew experience! I'm so happy to have shared the time with my parents.

And in between eating Philly Cheesesteaks, lamenting NJ's political choices for Govenor, and complaining about the cold weather to come, we went to see Bruce Springsteen ... in style - limo, box seats, amazing experience. Why would you know this (or care), but Giants Stadium is being torn down. Guess there's money burning a hole in someone's pocket, because it looked fine to me - anyhow, this was the last concert in Giants Stadium - EVER - well, until they build a new one! Anyhow, it was so much fun, we danced like fools and sang like we knew all the words (and drank, thankfully not too much) for hours. Like I said before, it was worth every 'Born in the USA' moment and the perfect Jersey thing to do.

xoxo,

P

Remembering

Yes, it's been a while, but living here on the East Coast makes it impossible to forget. There are flags everywhere; everyday, but especially today. There are statues and plaques scattered through our town; remembering a father, a brother, a mother, a friend. You never know if the person your standing in line behind lost someone on 9/11, but the chances are great that they did. The weather today was angry and dark, a strange backdrop for the day. And as I drove around today running errands, I let the lady in the next lane squeeze in to make her turn, and mustered a little extra patience with the slow cashier, and a took deep breath when the guy really needed my parking space - because you never know.

Peace.

College Bound

Noooooo! Really, how did 18 years go by so fast? I know, I know, it's all part of the family plan; you raise your kids, teach them well, and send them off into the world. Do I have to? Simply, yes. On the heels of the East Coast blitz, the West Coast tour is in full swing and the list of favorites is building. At the end of this week, Andrew will have visited 10 colleges on both coasts, a good sampling of higher learning. He's excited and inspired, how awesome is that. This college tour gig isn't just about picking schools, there's something bigger happening here.

I know when the time comes, and his car is packed and I'm counting the days until Family Weekend, I'll be freaking out, but for now it's all joy and what an incredible feeling. I'm so proud of my son.

And on a lighter...you know NJ is the Garden State, right? Aptly named for the prolific summer crop of tomatoes and corn, the slight green tinge visible on almost every surface, and the gi-normousness of some of the plants that grow here (kind of like in Hawaii, but without the OMG we're in Hawaii sense of ah!). Check out this picture. I have to get someone to take this shot with me right next to it, because then you'd see, this hibiscus is bigger than my head - I'm not kidding!

Have a happy day!

xoxo

P